Betel Nut Ingénue

The following is a short story from my first book, Vignettes of Taiwan (Things Asian Press, 2006). The story is currently being made into a film in Taiwan. Director Tobie Openshaw and I have been working feverishly on the final screenplay, which will veer somewhat from the original story.

I am keeping a diary of the film’s production at Snarky Tofu, but before getting too far on that I figured I’d post the original story at Josambro.com

Binglan Xiaojiemen (or betel nut girls) are Ubiquitous in cities and towns throughout Taiwan. These scantily clad women sit on the side of the road in transparent glass booths, from which they dispense baggies of betel nut, a mildly narcotic locally grown substance ingested primarily by men, usually taxi drivers, truckers and so forth. Though every so often some government official looking to score points with the high minded morality crowd will lead a crusade to get betel nuts banned (or at least to get betel nut girls to dress more modestly), little has come from these efforts. This story was inspired by a friend of mine who spent time getting to know some of these women. The first words, meaning ‘tell me’, are in the Taiwanese dialect.

Betel Nut Ingénue

‘Ga wu gong-a!’ Ah-wei laughed, slapping Ah-nei’s bare white shoulder with her palm. ‘Was it romantic? I hear foreigner men are so romantic. Tell me, tell me!’

‘Hmmmm…let me think.’ Ah-nei ran long fingers through her hair as if trying to conjure up moments past, prolonging her friend’s suspense. ‘Yes, definitely.’

‘Lucky! I can’t stand you!’

A blue Hyundai announced itself before the glass booth, tires crunching on gravel. ‘This one is mine.’ Ah-nei grabbed two baggies of betel nut and walked to the car, flamingo-like on high heels. Ah-nei bent down at the waist and presented the driver with a full view of the goods offered and those about which he could only dream.

‘Two bags leaf-wrapped, right handsome?’

The driver was in his early forties by the looks of him; he’d bought from the stand a few times before, always on Monday mornings. He was, by the looks of his car a family man, and Ah-nei assumed he was a businessman. The small struggles and low-grade disappointments of his life were just beginning to etch their map on the skin of his face. Ah-nei imagined the man leaving a doting tai-tai at home in a big apartment in Ilan on Monday mornings, leaving her to raise their child in a healthier environment while he drove into Taipei to manage whatever his business was during the week. She imagined that he had a small, non-descript efficiency apartment somewhere in Taipei not far from the office; he tried to drive back at least once or twice mid-week to spend the night with his wife and child. He loved his wife, or so he told himself, but couldn’t deny that he felt as if he’d comprised somewhere along the line. These thoughts he dealt with through drink, and the occasional debauch. Though she did not know his name, Ah-nei knew that she represented to him just a small taste of the latter. She smiled inwardly at the realization that in some small way she had a place in the environment of the man’s marriage.

‘Ganxie’ said the man, smiling. ‘Thank you for remembering me.’

‘Not so many handsome men buying from me, mostly pock-marked truckers.’

The driver held a 200-kuai note just inches out of the window. Ah-nei leaned in closer; strands of long black hair, soft as corn silk, tickled the man’s wrist as he handed her the money. ‘Keep the change,’ he said, and slowly accelerated back onto the road. She tucked the note into her the purse dangling from her hip as she walked back into the glass booth.

‘Why didn’t you just put your tongue in his ear?’ Ah-wei was amused. ‘You got close enough.’

‘You’re such a prude! Besides, I didn’t have to. It’s all about the implication.’

‘So you say! So what did you imply with your handsome ahdoga? Tell me everything. Where did you meet him?’

‘At a pub in Ilan. I think he is an English teacher. He speaks good mandarin, but only a little Taiwanese. ’

‘Was he nice to you?’

‘Mmmm…after we left the pub, he took me dancing, and then to sing Karaoke. He could really sing in Chinese.’

‘And then? What did you do after you left the KTV?”

‘Ai-ya, what do you think? And you know what they say about foreign men being bigger? Its really true.’

‘Pervert!’ shrieked Ah-wei, blushing ‘I knew you were bian-tai!’

‘Jealous!’ Ah-nei said, and perched herself on one of the booth’s two high, elegant stools and set back to work spreading white paste onto green leaves while her friend occupied herself with the task of wrapping the leaves around whole betel-nuts. Ah-nei thought about her foreigner. After they’d made love, she lay in his arms and told him about her life, about being a betel nut girl, having to dress up and smile for strange men all day long. Such a shameful profession, her mother said, only one step above prostitute. But the foreign man didn’t find it shameful at all. She hoped he would come by, hoped she would see him again.

For a few minutes, the two worked together in silence, two beautiful flamingos in a glass booth on the side of a provincial highway. Another car pulled up. Ah-wei was the first to look up from her bowl of betel nuts.

‘Wassa…a westerner.’

The driver, a thirty something white man with thinning hair and a pockmarked face was looking through the glass booth, staring at the two women. His eyes resting momentarily on Ah-nei. The man said something and laughed. The woman in the passenger seat, a Taiwanese, laughed and said something. The man laughed and said something back to her, then rolled down the window.

‘Hey, give us four Sarsaparillas’ the man shouted in Mandarin at the booth. When Ah-nei looked up, she saw that the ,am was now staring straight at her and smirking with a rough familiarity. For a moment, she stared back, feeling her skin flush before breaking the gaze off. She spoke tersely to Ah-wei.

‘This one is yours. Go and give them the sodas’

‘But I can’t…I don’t know what to say to foreign….’

‘Don’t say anything, just give him four cans of soda and take the money.’ Ah-nei kept her head down, eyes fixed on her own long fingers spread white narcotic jelly onto green leaves with fixed determination. Ah-wei pulled four cans of sarsaparilla out of the cooler and put them into a transparent plastic bag.

‘I want to say something to him in English! Um, hello is hao du yu du, right?’

‘Don’t bother, he can speak Mandarin. Just give him the sodas and take his money.’

Ah-wei slid open the door of the glass booth and walked gingerly towards the car, stiletto heels on gravel shoulder. In the back seat was an older couple. They looked like they must be the foreigner’s parents. The father looked at Ah-wei, powerful Taiwan sunshine shining off her tight black skirt almost blinding him. The mother stared straight ahead, and was not smiling. Ah-wei had forgotten how to make the sounds in English for hello. She gave the driver the sack of sodas.

‘Xie xie nimen’ the man said, handing her exact change ‘thanks to you both.’

The car pulled back onto the road. Ah-wei watched it, and thought she saw from the corner of her eye the man turn and wink. She teetered back into the booth. She understood now.

Ah-nei’s fingers were still working furiously; now she was rolling pasted leaves tightly around the betel nuts. Ah-wei sat down on the high stool, crossed her long legs, and took up the job of pasting green leaves. The two women worked in silence as the sun rose higher in the sky. A few cars stopped, and Ah-wei made deliveries and chatted with customers while her friend continued working, fingers rolling pasted leaves around nuts, squeezing them tightly.

‘We have enough now.’ Ah-wei said when she saw that the pile of rolled betel nuts threatened to spill from the plastic basket.

‘OK.’ Ah-nei wiped her hands, and for the first time since the foreign man had come, she looked up, eyes blinking in the sunshine. The two women sat listening to the humming of the air conditioner as the sun hovered over the mountains like a ball of jellied fire.

At last, Ah-wei broke the silence.

‘Was he at least, you know…more romantic?’ She asked quietly.

‘No.’ Answered Ah-nei. ‘He was just bigger.’

Planes, speedboats, Automobiles….

…Pickup trucks, school bus, horseback, jungle dory (that’s a kind of canoe propelled with a pole by a man standing up, often named Christopher). I thought I’d used every feasible method of conveyance on this trip through Belize. I’d even been back on a completely different crank-powered ferry boat.

But nothing prepared me for this lift on a 2-ton road grader speeding over (while simultaneously grading I suppose, whatever that means) the dirt road from Midway to Baranco, in the way-way south of Belize’s Toledo district.

How I got to be there, bouncing around on top of two tons of diesel-belching road menacing metal is another Belize hitching story, this one involving a hellish ride in the back of a brand new pickup driven by a maniacal Mestizos and his Mayan wife who let me off halfway to Midway. With no bus in sight I started hoofing it down the dirt road, jungle on either side. The day was hot, and Baranco, a tiny Garifuna Village on the gulf of Honduras (best known for being a) the birthplace of Andy Palacio and b) a tiny Garifuna Village on the gulf of Honduras) was miles away.

All of a sudden, the unmistakable sound of a two-ton metal box beating on dirt with rolling rubber hammers came up behind me. It was massive, noisy, and headed in my direction. Unable to get out of its way, I stuck my thumb out. The thing slowed down for me.

The man driving the monster yelled out at me You ever ride a horse?

I told him I had.

Hop on and hold on! He yelled. This is a lot like that.

Birdies by the Sea

Hopkins, a long stretch of beach with a town attached, or a long town with a beach attached. However you want to put it, the place is peaceful. Not so for the sea, now pounding the shore all white-capped and roiling. It is one of those days best spent on the beaches’ dry side, or pummeled by waves like a plastic ball in a spin cycle. Even so, I watched a windsurfer out past the roughest bits, skating and bounding over waves. Windsurfing was always one of those things I planned to learn but never did, a shame, really, being that once upon a time I lived in Penghu, Windsurfing Heaven.

So I am sitting here, watching the sea boil, a beautiful breeze coming in and a strange dog on my porch. Life is good. Later on I’ll hop on a bike and finish my exploration of Hopkins, which I’d like to give more space to in this edition if at all possible (maybe can trim a few words from Belize City if the powers that be approve?)

Yesterday I rode from Sitte Point to Sittee River, which was actually more trouble than it sounded. It was a long, bumpy road, surrounded by jungle on both sides, and on the ride out there I saw one small monkey sitting in the road…darted into the tall grass before I could rech for my camera, which is fine, as monkeys are either too far or too close to photograph (in the latter instance, its often because they’re trying to nab your camera), a large iguana, and a stork.

The coolest moment was this one, being inside of a swarm of small birds that nearly darkened the sky.

Sittee River had some good spots for backpackers, a damned good internet cafe with the best shot of espresso I’ve had in Belize, and a couple of other places of note.

The sky has just opened up, and hammering rain has driven me into the cabana. Time to batten down the hatches!

Anatomy of an afternoon’s hitchhike

Hopkins is a beach village four miles off the southern highway, and Placencia is a tourist town sitting at the tip of a long peninsula. As the crow flies they’re close enough, but I’m no crow. And there isn’t a direct bus.

So I find myself on the Hopkins road that leads through the savanna to the highway with my pack and a sack of ideals (a frozen juice pop) good for an afternoon’s wait. It is one o’clock. The good news: The first car passing picks me up, good thing too since it’s also the only car to pass in close to an hour. An Indian merchant heading back to Belize City, we make good time over the unpaved road, where I am dropped at the junction, beating the two o’clock Hopkins bus to Dangriga (that would presumably be dropping me at about the same spot) by a good ten minutes.

The Saints of travel are good to me still, and by two o’clock my second ride appears, a spiffy SUV with big tires and modified shocks for off-road driving. The driver works at a hydro-electric plant somewhere in the wilds of Toledo, and can take me as far as the juncture leading to Independence, where another quick lift will bring me into the town from which the Hokey Pokey Water Taxi takes off to Placencia.

Or he can drop me off at the end of Placencia road, where I can take my chances on that road. I’ve never taken the Hokey Pokey, but I did drive the Placencia road two years back.

It was long and bumpy.

I chose the latter, and the longest leg of the journey passes in style and relative comfort. At the fork, it’s 2:20, we’ve made great time.

Infrastructure aside, Belize is still a small country.

My next ride takes a bit longer, but not by all that much. An overloaded van with doors that needed to be booted open. A wild-chicken affair, and thus not technically “hitchhiking” as money will be exchanged. I’m glad for the lift, especially as it means I have a snowball’s chance in Belize of catching the 2:30 Hokey Pokey.

On second thought, not even that, especially as the van drops me off in the center of town and it’s still a half-mile hoof to Mango Creek for the boat. But again the traveler’s saints smile on me, and, being Saturday close to Christmas, an extra boat has been added.

If It comes on time, and functions as advertised, I’ll be pulling into Placencia by 3:45, making my grand travel total 2 hours and 45 minutes, cash expenditure BZ$14 – ten for the water taxi and four for the wild chicken. That’s seven bucks, US. Not bad for a journey in Central America’s priciest spot.

This video is from about a week ago, and bears no relation to the above story.

Snarky Tofu @ Mango Creek, Belize

Hitching Again

this really happened. I swear it.